I can already hear the Pristine Decoder rattling in your heads, constructing the question “Of all games, why are you creating a review for this one?”

The simple answer is: because I’ve been trying to create a review for every game I finish since before this channel was a thing.

Your response to that is most likely: “Okay, let me rephrase that. Why’d you play this game in the first place?”

To which I’ll respond with: ‘cause it didn’t cost me anything.

But let’s be serious for a moment, since this is a dark game. Callisto Protocol was a free game in the Epic Games Store on Christmas 2025, and I’m sure you know the adage about the gift horse. Sharp tongues might say that a gift like this is the reason why nobody likes Tim Sweeney’s game store, but that’s besides the point. And believe me, I was also surprised that this commercial flop was presented as the December 24^th Mystery Game.

But I didn’t care in that moment because it was undoubtedly a visual treat, even if it had disgusting ingredients. However, this wasn’t stopping me from taking a closer look at it for a Linux Gameplay Performance analysis. After all, Linux supposedly is immune to dangerous viruses and their mutations.

So I attempted a brief Let’s Play series on my German channel, as I need to play a game for testing anyway. One to two hours are usually required to get a sense of the expected performance profile, ideally a bit longer. And despite its flaws, or maybe because of them, it didn’t let me go. As it turns out, I completed the Let’s Play, and now I’ll tell you about my experience. Unsolicited, of course.

If you like or not, you’re now locked in my Gameslinger Prison, and I can perform all sorts of experime… Ey, ey, ey… just… a moment. Closing the tab doesn’t count.

Read More »